I wish there was a minus star option to rate this shady company. Retailers should let you know before purchasing which delivery company will be used. Why am I disappointed with Hermes? Time and again over the last decade, they schedule a delivery day and they simply never come on that day. No calling card. No dingdong from the doorbell. No knock at the door. No van outside. Nothing. Their customer service line is a joke. No human being to talk to and it just hangs up after a while. My recommendation: avoid this shambolic organisation (as well as Yodel and DPD) and request retailers use a more reliable company like Royal Mail/Parcel Force, UPS or DHL. Finally, the previous Hermes delivery I was supposed to get never arrived and apparently was left in a “safe place” which I, er, didn’t request. Retailer sent it again by Royal Mail.

UPDATE: The next day, whilst anxiously waiting, I caught sight of a real live person with a parcel hop out of an unmarked van and proceed to knock on the door of a property about six doors down from me. Neurotically, I ran over and asked if the parcel was supposed to be for my address ... and it was! Now I'm wondering whether Hermes's penchant for mysterious non-delivery is because their drivers frequently go to the wrong address??