PJ and me have been together for 16 years and drink has always been there - like a second wife that I didn't want or sign up for (actually more like a second husband I didn't invite to the wedding - there was 'my PJ' and then 'drunk PJ' and they were very different)

He never drank in the house but would often disappear, turn up days later, skint, hungover and full of promises and apologies, until even they stopped

So, we started Rethink Drink.

I say we - but really PJ signed up. I was super sceptical. Another thing to try, but Matt seemed to know what he was talking about - he'd tried the same things PJ had. PJ had tried AA (which I find weird - first thing you say is your name?!), cold turkey and tablets from the doc that turned out to be vitamins. None of that worked long term

Back to rethink Drink:
PJ was focussed - I'd seem that before
He said this would work - I'd heard that before
But i thought, give it a go, we haven't tried this yet

I know PJ is capable of bigger and better things (more than just getting pissed)

I'll be honest, I was disappointed when Matt said "keep drinking the usual amount".
Like what? PJ's now encouraged to drink? Isn't that the opposite of what we're meant to do? i wanted him to stop full stop - 'not manage it'

But Matt encouraged me too, answered every question, was always there (not like calls at 3am, but nothing was off the table)

So we got going
One early suggestion was try drinking in the house. I thought 'great now I have to deal with him drunk in the house, but ok what else have we got to lose?'

Then, getting drunk stopped being an issue - WTF?
Not just for him - for me. It had been a trigger: pacing the house if he was out, knowing he'd come home loud, argumentative, hard to deal with. That went away

And it went pretty quickly, though we had so much else going on at the time that I didn't notice exactly when it changed
This was during one of the hardest times we've faced as a family - and suddenly PJ's drinking was no longer an issue

Where are we now?
Honestly, i couldn't give a rat's ass if PJ drinks or not. I don't even ask anymore. If he's out late I leave the door unlocked (don't burgle me I'm poor). Rough the next day? Sick bowl and my super duper awful hangover cure (slight wife revenge - recipe on request)

There's no trigger for me now.

And PJ? He's more settled, excited about the future, making plans, revamping old projects and starting new ones. Not the angry pissed off guy he was just 14 weeks ago, hiding in the pub, making promises he couldn't keep and kicking himself for it later. He's back to being 'my' PJ - the guy I married

We've got a lot closer (I could go into detail but trust me you don't want me to) Intimacy is easier and a lot more enjoyable. We're more open, no worry i might upset him and he'll go tot he pub. We feel rock solid - ready for the next drama (and this time it won't be booze related - I don't think it ever will be again)

I'm so proud of PJ but it's more than what it's done for him. I see a change in me too. No issues, worries or triggers with alcohol anymore. Now I just get to moan at PJ about normal wife stuff - like 'why can't you ever find anything?'

So, if you're unsure, on the fence - just go for it. It's worth it.
(And no one pays me to say this stuff - I do it for free!)

Are you a wife suspicious that this 'dodgy new guy' on the internet is encouraging your man to drink?

Don't sweat it - it's part of the process. Give him the space and support to go through it. You'll be thanking him and Matt later

To sum up:
How would it feel to not give a rat's ass if your partner drank or not?

If your answer is 'it would be awful, he must stop drinking now', encourage him to stay in AA and cross your fingers

If your answer is 'that would be awesome' - hit up Matt in a DM.
Trust me, it works. He knows what he's talking about.
It won't just change alcohol - it'll change your life

The short version
We've been together for 16 years. Alcohol was PJs second wife - not the nice kind
Rethink Drink didn't just change how he drinks - it changed everything
No trigger, no drama, no walking on eggshells
Just my PJ back, our marriage stronger and me free to moan about he usual wife stuff

If you're on the fence - jump. It's worth it

Yes, he drinks sometimes. No, I don't care anymore

And no Matt didn't pay me to say this (but I wouldn't say no to a box of Yorkshire tea mate, just saying)